From Parent to Advocate: Walking The Fine Line

The Boynton Blueprint
Sep 17
4 min read

I became a parent in 1997, but my journey as an advocate evolved gradually into the outspoken, respected individual I am today. And trust me—it didn’t happen overnight. It took years of self-discovery, growth, education, and networking to get me to this place, and even now, I am still evolving alongside my daughters, who are now adults.

An advocate is someone who speaks on behalf of another person or group—to plead for, support, or argue on their behalf. But just because you are a parent doesn’t mean you are automatically an advocate. My first few IEP meetings left me so overwhelmed that I felt small in a room full of “professionals.” I was only acting as a parent, listening quietly as the team told me what was best for my children. At the doctor’s office, it was the same. Even though I was their mom, I didn’t yet believe I was capable of making those kinds of decisions. I thought my role was to love, nurture, provide, and follow the instructions of the professionals. I had no idea that one day I would grow into an advocate.

You may be wondering: “But aren’t parents automatically advocates?” The answer is no. There’s a fine line between the two.

Parenting is the daily act of nurturing, protecting, and guiding your child—loving them through milestones, struggles, and growth. Advocacy, on the other hand, is when that love pushes you to speak up beyond the walls of your home. It’s when you step into schools, doctor’s offices, or community spaces and ensure your child’s needs and rights are understood and respected. Parenting focuses on caring for your child; advocacy ensures the world around them cares in the ways they deserve.

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Parenting vs. Advocacy: The Fine Line

Parenting	Advocacy
Meeting your child’s everyday needs—love, safety, guidance, and support.	Speaking up to ensure your child’s needs are met in schools, healthcare, and the community.
Teaching life skills, values, and resilience inside the home.	Navigating systems and policies to remove barriers outside the home.
Encouraging confidence, independence, and self-expression.	Ensuring your child is given equal opportunities and fair treatment.
Protecting your child emotionally and physically.	Protecting your child’s rights and access to resources.
Helping your child grow into the best version of themselves.	Helping the world see, understand, and support who your child already is.

My Turning Point

The real shift in my advocacy journey came when my girls were headed to kindergarten. The school district wanted to move them to another school against my wishes. I whined and complained, but inside I felt powerless—too “small” to effect change.

As fate would have it, I had just been promoted at work and my new supervisor was also a parent of a child with a similar diagnosis. She was outspoken and fearless, and when I confided in her, she told me something I will never forget: “You have got to be these girls’ advocate—their voice. They have no one but you, and you cannot be scared.”

With her encouragement, I wrote my first real advocacy letter. Together, we faxed it to administrators—even the local news station. I was terrified, but for the first time, I felt powerful. Although I wasn’t able to prevent the move, I began to be seen as a strong voice for my children. That experience lit a fire in me, and I never forgot the courage she poured into me.

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Why Some Parents Don’t Step Into Advocacy

Not every parent feels capable of stepping into advocacy—and that’s okay. Most parents love their children deeply, but advocacy requires an extra layer of knowledge, energy, and courage. Sometimes, parents simply don’t have the bandwidth.

Lack of Knowledge – Unfamiliarity with rights, systems, or supports can make advocacy feel intimidating.
Time Constraints – Work, caregiving, and daily life leave little time for research or meetings.
Emotional Overwhelm – Parenting itself can feel heavy; advocacy feels like one more impossible task.
Fear of Conflict – Many avoid being labeled “difficult” or damaging relationships with professionals.
Burnout – Persistence is exhausting, and some parents simply run out of energy.
Belief in Experts – Trusting the system fully can stop parents from questioning decisions.
Lack of Support – Without a network or community, advocacy can feel isolating and overwhelming.

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A Compassionate Truth

Not every parent has the capacity to advocate—and that doesn’t mean they’re failing. It simply means they are human. Advocacy can take many forms. Sometimes it’s as big as attending a policy meeting, but other times it’s as small as comforting your child, teaching resilience, or asking one extra question at the doctor’s office. Every act of care matters, and advocacy can grow when the time and resources allow.

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Start Small

If advocacy feels overwhelming, start small. Ask one more question at a doctor’s appointment. Request clarification in an IEP meeting. Teach your child how to express their needs. Drop by the school to connect with staff. Surround yourself with other parents—you’d be surprised at the wisdom and encouragement you’ll find in community. Over time, those small acts build relationships, confidence, and change.

Remember—advocacy isn’t about doing everything at once. It’s about doing what you can, when you can, with the love and courage you already carry as a parent.